Zombie Rehabilitation Therapy
      Are you being chased by zombies? Do they keep pounding at your door all through the night? Has your fiancé become a "Walking Dead"? Has someone in your family become a zombie? Has one of you little monsters literally become a "little monster"? Yes, zombies are popping up everywhere today. You try not to make eye contact, but they keep following you home. They try to eat you and make you one of them. But you don't have to put up with it any longer. There is now Zombie-Hypnosis®.

     Yes, the effects of the little known about zombie virus can be reversed with Zombie-Hypnosis® in one single session. Most zombie killers believe the only way to stop zombies is to shoot them in the head. But now you don't have to resort to that anymore. The zombie virus is a short-lived virus that is contagious for only a short period of time. The zombie virus changes the synaptic connection in the brain and makes its victims think they are dead. But they are not. Once the virus has run its course, the brain can be reprogrammed back to the human state. And we can help you make it happen.

      So what's the next step. First get a roll of duct tape and carefully secure your loved one to be transported to our center. The tape also safely secures body parts from falling off which is a side effect of the zombie virus. Once he/she/it has been dezombietized, appendages are less likely to fall off (contact your primary medical provider to have them reattached if necessary). Once here we will use our exclusive dezombietizing technique to reprogram his or her mind to the normal human state. It's as simple as that.

Results are not typical and your results may vary.

     So what are you waiting for? Turn your ghoul-friend back into your girlfriend or your monster back into your man-ster.

     Show your zombie that you really love them and call now!

Coming Soon!

     For you do-it-yourselfers, we are working on our You Are Not A Zombie! recording. Just duct tape your zombie to a chair and let it play for 48 to 72 hours none stop for maximum results. Watch for it in our shopping cart during the next full moon.